boo humbug

James once asked me "What are we celebrating on Halloween?" I had to think, "I don't know.....the birth of Frankenstein?"

I think everyones posts today are going to be full of their kids in cute costumes. I'm not saying my kids aren't cute, but their costumes are so boring. James has been a race car driver for 3 years, now Sam is in on it. Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnheart Jr., barf!

Luke was impossible:
"Do you want to be a cow?" "Yea, purple cow!" "We don't have a purple cow." "No cow."
"How about a dog?" "Yea, green dog." "We don't have green, only brown." "No dog."
"You could be an elephant!" "Yea, lellow elephant." "Its a gray elephant." "No elephant!."

I was going over the options again to today. After saying no to everything, he said, "I be Edward" (a Thomas the Tank Engine Train). "No Luke. We don't have an Edward costume." "I be Edward." I gave up and went to play with Sam. A few minutes later Luke runs out of the play room "I Edward! I Edward!" He had found a Thomas sticker and put it in his hair. How was I going to argue with that one?

So, I put some pictures up of Sam in my favorite costume 2 years ago. I promise if they didn't have opinions they would always look this cute.

I always dread the hoard of candy. Last year I had a great plan. The day after Halloween the kids asked the usual, "whats for lunch?" I answered, "Candy!" I dumped their loot on the table and told them they should eat as much as they could, cause everything they didn't eat right then I was going to give away.

It kind of backfired. I was counting on the belly ache we tell kids they are going to get when they eat too much candy. It didn't come. They were supposed to never want to see another smartie. They still begged for it after I took it away, and their friends had enough to keep their blood sugars high. The only thing I accomplished was teaching them that candy was an option for lunch. "What do you want for lunch?' "CANDY!!"

Feel free to share how you get rid of your booty.

I guess the point I'm trying to get at (and its taking way too long) is that normally I hate Halloween. But this year was different. I loved the anticipation, the costumes (except my boys), the ghost stories, the teenage trick or treaters. Even the candy the boys brought back.

I suppose I know the reason for the change of heart.

Happy Halloween!!!!

Make your own slide shows and scrapbooks

thought I would share one of my ah-ha moments, being Sunday and all

Circa Nov. 2005.

It was one of those days.

I woke up tired thanks to a few nighttime feedings. Changed a diaper. Wiped a nose. Fed the boys their breakfast. Cleaned the breakfast off the table. Cleaned the breakfast off the baby, and the floor, and my shirt. Wiped their noses. Put the baby in the bath. Dressed the other two. Dried the baby off, diapered and dressed him.

"Mommy! Im done!" Wiped a bum. Swept the floor. Got out the legos. Picked up and made happy the crying baby. Did the dishes. Wiped noses. Changed a diaper. Got out snacks. Cleaned up snacks. Changed clothes that had been spilled on. Read 'Thomas and friends'. Made lunch. Spoon fed the baby. Started a load of laundry. Cleaned up lunch. Put away the legos. Dispensed cold medications. Nursed the baby. Put him down for a nap and whispered, "I didnt even know you 5 months ago and now your running my life!"

Then I felt exhasted.

I sat on the couch to fold laundry and turned on KBYU to get inspired or uplifted. The devotional topic didn't help. It was on missionary work.

I had been married for 5 and 1/2 years and had 3 kids at home. Three was so much harder than two! My life was a far cry than that of someone going abroad, or even out in the neighborhood, spreading the gospel. I felt like there wasn't much time to do anything out side of my busy, unimportant, monotonous days. I thought, "I should have gone on a mission. Served God while I could have."

I turned if off, and laid down to read my scriptures.

I was in Mathew 25. The first parable was the ten virgins. I compared it to food storage. Guilt. I had lots of beans, but thats about it. And then the talents. More guilt. If anything I was loosing talents, hiding them under the couch along with hot wheels and marbles.

Then the goats and the sheep parable. At the second coming Christ sits at his throne and separates all the gathered people on the earth one from another........

"as a sheperd divideth his sheep from the goats:

and he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.

Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:

For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee and hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

when Luke woke up I gave him a great big kiss and happily went on my busy, important, monotonous day.

Baby

I feel so spoiled today. My aunt Janice and her daughter Jill brought me lunch and gave my front room a much needed make-over. I'll post pics soon. Its so cute! My mother in law brought back all my ironing. Aunt Denise brought me dinner. Its been heaven. Like if someone would ask you what you wanted to do today-you could pretty much answer this. And yet.....

As I watched aunt Janice pull up all my annuals, I thought how weird it is to be dependent again. At 18 you cant wait to pack all you have in your families ugly van to be dropped off and live on your own. If fulfills all your expectations. You get used to it. You love it. And then...you get cancer. I have wanted to pull those flowers out this whole week, but I cant bend. So many things that defined my life I cant do.

An Oprah thought I always loved (but never really understood) is that sometimes you have to learn to love the 'new normal.' Dependence is going to have to be a part of my normal days maybe for the next year. (Oh, its Drug awareness week in James school and his eyes just bulge whenever I talk about the drugs I'm going to be starting)

The weather has been absolutely beautiful this week. Like a second summer. The boys have spent their afternoons hunting bugs to feed the lizard our neighbor is keeping in a jar. Yesterday they found a lizard corpse "with its eyes popped out" in the window well. I watched James and Dallin from my hammock as they picked the last of my flowers and knelt down beside the gravel grave they had dug. They looked so tough in their camo and fohawks (it was crazy hair day at school) but they bowed their heads and looked very (appropriately) glum over the death.

Tonight in the moonlight I saw the brick gravestone, and the meticulously placed colorful bouquets sticking out from all sides. I love little boys!


I just went to get a picture of said grave and noticed there was an inscription. Four hearts around the name 'Baby' and then the names of the boys.

today

Yesterday I was wondering why this recovery was taking so long. A mother with a C-section would taking care of a newborn at this stage. Today I got to sweep my own floor and sit in the sunshine.

I took your advise and watched 'the last lecture'-loved it. Also watched Crazy, Sexy, Cancer. Lots of things to think about. They don't do any treatment on her type of cancer, so she just goes around looking for alternative ways to help slow it down. I think that was good for her. But she never turned to God to get any answers or peace. Faith in food alone doesn't seem like enough.

I'm also going to give Bella another chance tonight. This time on Lortab.

random things....

Like the fact that Josh, James, and Sam took a ride in a hot air balloon this morning. Grandma Vicki bought the ride at our PTA carnival. I wasn't too nervous until they were way up there and the wife of the balloonist said, "So, are you going follow them to pick them up?" I guess it makes sense, but I didn't realize that you don't steer them, they just kind of go where the wind takes them, and land when they are close to an open field. Who knew? Everyone? I was sad I cant move around very well to take sweet pictures. It seems like a very photogenic event and I couldn't get creative.

His wife also was saying that it feels like your flying. She said if her husband is trying to sell one and the customer has had flying dreams they almost always get the sale. Ive talked about this with my mom and we totally think we know how to fly because it is such a real feeling in our dreams. Is this normal or are we witches?

I am enjoying a clean house today thanks to a random act of kindness. My brothers' wifes' brothers' wife Traci owns a housekeeping business and she offered her services for a while. So Im enjoying my CLEAN house. Thanks Traci!!

I want your opinion on the Twilight series. Im sure to offend tons because so many people have recommended these books to me. It started out all fun, but Ive been in the middle of the second one for a month and haven't seen Edward and I just don't know if I want to finish. Bella is not a heroine by any stretch of the imagination, and there is no hero, no one to like. I don't know, what do you think, is it worth finishing?

I caught the end of Oprah yesterday (I'm not recommending her, but Ive had my share of Ah-ha moments). It was on conversations about death-talking to terminally ill people. I wish I would have seen it all, but she quoted Da Vinci "As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death." I thought that was a nice way of putting it.

So I just read over my blog. Its the Lortab talking. Nothing is coherent, which is why I didn't dare write yesterday. I don't need it during the day anymore, but when I'm sore at night I likey my Lortab.

the pics

Amen.

Truman Johnson