the perspective ive been waiting for

I'm ready to take a break from writing about cancer for a while.

I don't think about it much now, although it has shaped the way I think. The way I feel. The way I act.

I went back through my blog about the last couple of years (has it been that long?). I'm so glad I wrote it down, it seems so out of focus now. It was a bitter sweet read. Bitter because it reminded me how I felt when there was no light at the end of the tunnel. There wasn't even a tunnel.

Sweet because I know how it ends. How space will be carved around me and light will flood in.

And then I step out. Squinting.

They say cancer is about life, not death.

I say it too.

I dance it in the family room.

I sing it in the shower.

I breathe it in the morning air.

I feel it when the sun shines.

I hear it when my kids laugh.

I know it.