Josh wouldn't let me blog last night. He thought I needed some sleep. I'm going to just blog twice as much today in defiance.
Lots of emotions this week. I was so happy when a gorgeous new couch arrived from an anonymous donor (I have my suspicions). Ive never had a couch I didn't have to hide with a slipcover so I'm really enjoying it.
A little scared when the hospital called the other day to verify my information...'just calling about your radical groin disection.' My stomach didnt like the way that rolled off the tongue. Count me out of anything using the word radical, especially involving a knife. Ive mentioned before my intense fear of surgery. Its just that I have to keep my fingers on my wrist in the dentists office if they give me the gas just to make sure my pulse doesn't...I don't know...stop. Totally absurd.
Its been hard to say hello and goodbye again to my parents who came into town for general conference. A lot of people told me when their parents were on missions and such everything just went so smoothly while they were gone. Its seeming a little opposite here for me, but I'm hoping somehow it will help? I don't know how, and I don't mean to complain, but it seems like I never needed a mom so bad. I know its not her choice to be far away.
My sister is here tonight, but is leaving in the morning. She has been doing everything for me so unselfishly. We got a lot of organization done and she is leaving me with a clean house. She always reminds me how bad a housekeeper I am by doing things that have never been done ie bleaching my showers and linens. There is nothing like a sister, really. When we were little we used to get in these weird, tired moods where everything that happened would send us into hysterics and my stomach would hurt from the uninterrupted laughter. Tonight we just cried at the end of the day.
We told James and Sam about the surgery tomorrow. Sam said "I hope we only get good news or no news" James made a gun with his hands, "I'm shooting. I'm shooting for the good news target." Sam pointed to his head "My brain is telling me its going to be bad news." Fun times.
We wont hear the pathology reports till Thursday, but everyone is sure there wont be cancer in what they are taking out. Sam missed this memo.
I was glancing through my blog starting from this summer. I'm a little sad that my sweet little blog has turned so sour! I really do have so much hope and faith, and love and gratitude. This could end in I guess a tragedy, but I hope and pray that I'm around to make some triumphant title in 5 years.
Which reminds me that Ive been purposely not reading any blogs for a while so I could have some reading to do while in bed. If anyone wants to share their blog with me email the address to firstname.lastname@example.org or put it in the comments. I would love to see what SWEET things are going on in your lives!!