Thursday, February 28, 2008

carpe diem in context, and a book of people

I think I speak for everyone in Utah when I praise the the Lord right here and now for all this beautiful, warm sunshine!!

It gives me energy. I need it this week as Josh has been gone since Sunday for work. Last time he left me alone I lost it. Today (after 5 days of him being away, but with help from my mother in law) I cleaned all the treasures that have been buried in the snowy backyard, went walking with my neighbor, weeded my flower beds, finished the laundry, cleaned the house, potty trained my 2 year old (yea Luke!), shopped at Target for bribes, visited with my cousin (thanks Jill), took the boys bowling, got them fed and in bed by 7, watched American Idle (can someone fill me in on what the connection is between David and Alexandrea? Cause he was bawling), brushed the animals, read my scriptures, and now I blog.

It occurs to me that if I can get that much done I better start checking off my list (of things to do before I die, see my September blog, crazy eights). Not that I'm going to die, but I want to get those things done so I can start another list.

Heres the thing: I could do laundry and sweep my house and cook and clean and watch TV all day. Really, I could. There isn't time or energy for anything on that list. I keep thinking all these dreams of the future will just happen when I'm not chasing around little kids.

Luckily, I'm learning a lot about living in the present. Not that the past isn't great. Not that the future shouldn't be anticipated. But you can get caught up in what things were, or what they might be. What about now. How about today? How great is this moment? Your stomach is full, your legs are resting, the sun is streaming in your window. You feel great now. It doesn't matter that tumors might be ravishing your body. Let them come, and enjoy things about those days too. Things like sleep, and medications. It doesn't matter that your extremities are blowing up. Let them grow, and enjoy the fact that they are there. Your kids are the only ones that notice it now. It doesnt matter that your hair is falling out. Its just what you look like, not who you are.

I bet most of our unhappy days (for sure not all, cause some days are just plain sad) are due to anxiety about the past and future. All that time you could have been soaking in the pleasures of the day. And you could have felt the joy of being alive and healthy.

No, but I'm trying to say is that life is too short to wait around to get things done you want to do. If you want to have friends, invite someone over. If you want to paint, take a class. If you want to run a marathon, get registered and start training. If you want to be a nice person, act like it. If you want to be happy, do something simple to make yourself that way. Dont be stupid about it of course. If you don't have the money to get to Paris-save up for it today. There is always something you can do about it today.

If you want to write a book, start your chapter.

This is where I find myself. Although I don't want to write a book, I need to do something about all the amazing people in my life. Before I die I want to tell them I love them. So in 2008 I am going to share my love for them.....with you.

So at least once a week Ill add a chapter (to a 'book' that will never be published) and honor someone Ive been thinking about. I cant write very much or the posts will end up long and unread, much like todays. So Ill pick something small thats touched me and changed me big. It might be boring, but its my blog, and I wont be offended if you skip over these chapters. But who knows? Maybe you could learn something from them.

Wow! Long, muddled, obnoxious post. Sorry.


dont ask-it is forbidden to know
what end the gods will give me or you. Don't play with Babylonian
fortune-telling either. Better just deal with whatever comes your way.
Whether you'll see several more winters or whether the last one
Jupiter gives you is the one even now pelting the rocks on the shore with the waves
of the sea — be smart, strain your wine. Scale back your long hopes
to a short period. Even as we speak, envious time
is running away from us. Seize the day, trusting little in the future.
-Horace

24 comments:

balega said...

How I have missed you this week. You are perfect.

I love you

jennie said...

Were you ever a fan of the show "Newsies"? There is a song from it called "Seize the Day". You just reminded me of it. I really enjoyed this post, you are becoming quite the writer! I feel like I should brush up on my literature though, as I rarely understand the title of your posts... but that's my problem, not yours.

I noticed your comments on my blog came in at 1230 am. WHY AREN't YOU ASLEEP???? Are you doing okay? I'm sorry I dogged you this week. This bronchitis issue has gotten the better of me. I finally slept last night for the first time since Sunday night. (thanks to drugs). SO I'm going to second your thoughts about how I'm thankful for medication!! (From one nurse to another) I hope you take a good nap today to make up for your late night last night!

I love you!

Mary said...

I love Newsies! I too thought of that song when I read it. So, how is it that you can get twice as much done than I can in a day and you are feeling like crud? I'm genuinely impressed! I'm excited to read the coming "chapters"! I hope the sun keeps shining down on you! Spring is coming . . .

M & M Brenchley family said...

You truly amaze me Alisa. Your posts inspire and strengthen me. I heard something today that reminds me of you. It was "Your life is as perfect as your attitude". You have a great attitude! Thanks for the upliftment (this is a bogus term, made up by lazy people) Thanks anyway.
Mandy

Heidi Berry said...

I am so happy to hear that things are looking up for you. I think about you and your little family often. Thanks for the reminder to enjoy what we have been given today, and to not wish it away for hopes of something better or different. And I wish they weren't so darn dramatic on American Idol. It makes it hard to watch sometimes. :)

Sonja said...

jennie, Alisa and i used to have the entire show memorized (who knows, maybe we still do?)

I'm glad you got the sunshine--I hope it keeps shining for you.

Tonya said...

Hi! You have no idea who I am, but I found your blog through Kandace. I love reading about my friends' friends. :o) Anyhoo, I thought I would give you the link to one of my good friends who has just beaten cancer. She is a young mom like yourself. It can never hurt to read about those that have gone through similar trials as yourself! http://shelbysjourney.blogspot.com/

You sound like an amazing person!

Roger and Kelli Proctor said...

You are so awesome! It seems like I remember having a conversation similar to this when we went on a walk while living at Wyview, to be so grateful about NOW and live in the present moment! Was I dreaming, or did we have that conversation? Well, I love ya and thanks for your example of living in the present moment!

The Brown Family said...

Hey Alisa,
I am very impressed, you got more done in one day than I can seem to accomplish in one month. I am glad that you are feeling better and I am glad to hear that Utah is getting some sunshine. It is definately good on one's spirits! Take care of yourself. Your amazing!

Kerryne

lou said...

I miss you so much Alisa!

Amy said...

Amazing post! I have a tendency to be a real pessimist and to stress about the past and worry about the future, so this post is going to be a reference for me to come back to again and again in the future to help me focus more on the positive and the things that are good about TODAY. Thanks, Alisa.

Brittany said...

I love this post. It encapsulates so much of what we all face every day, and I'm feeling inspired to start a 'book' of my own!

Karlet said...

I am so impressed that you got Luke potty trained! I'd say "Yea, Alisa!"

Whatsatoomzaletson said...

Great attitude, Alisa.

All about the Benjamin's said...

Alisa-
Thanks for your blog today! I just wanted to let you know how wonderful I think you are, I wish you felt like you could write a book; I think you would be great at it. I will take into advice the things you have posted. As it is raining outside today I am a little overwhelmed. I had a miscarriage again and was feeling down. I feel that your post has helped guide me through with strength. You will never know what your blogs have meant to me. You are great. Keep up the great attitude. You have a great Mother in Law. What an awesome lady she is.
Many blessings your way!!!

bradnlisa said...

Alisa,
What an awesome post! You have really helped me to wake up and seize the moment! You have been (and always will be) a HUGE example to me! I love you! Lisa

Kathy Urry said...

It was so good to see you at Church today and also said that your no longer in Young Women. The girls will really miss you and all you do for them. They all Love you.
It sound like your geting a few things done each day some day that is more than I get done but I do not have reason like you I think I just have a lazy family.

I hope you will be done with these shots soon and all gets better from here.
We Love you and wish you to fish fast.

wendipooh13 said...

oh my gosh Alisa you are just plain amazing!! I am soo impressed with how much you got done and really needed to hear what you worte about living in the day. I do this WAY too little and surely not enough, I know I am going to start doing this NOW before I start missing everything right in front of me!!!

Kathy said...

Hi Alisa,
You really could write a book and I am so glad you choose to share your thoughts and feelings with everyone. I myself appreciate them very much, they are meaningful to even those who have no battles in life at the moment, and if we all stopped to analyze or think of these things the world would be a better place. You make the world a better place, and we love ya.

Mindi said...

Although I feel like an intruder, I read your blog from time to time in part to see how your doing and to be inspired. I know we didn't know each other that well when I lived in the neighborhood, so I hope it's okay that I "intrude." I just wanted to say that I love your blog, your words are so wise and inspiring to me...and I just wanted to let you know that. Thanks! I pray for your return to good health and freedom from all of this stuff. Your amazing!

dawn said...

alisa-what a great post. I think that is one of the big lessons I am spending my whole life so far trying to learn...mabey I'll get there someday.

Buffy said...

Alisa,
So glad you've started up the TX again and that you are not despondent on it. AD's are remarkable little drugs aren't they?? Let you see the sunhsine and know it'ds going to be ok even when you are shooting poison into your body!
We love you and want you to know you're always in our prayers, as always. Brandon & Brit were up this weekend and asking about you and now I can tell them you're doing well.
Brent is almost 1/2 way done and he is hanging in there!! You guys are both tough and I know, well and truly blessed by the love of so many people.
Now go buy a new car with the money you save on not having to buy duapers anymore!! YEAH! Potty training the last one is such an accomplishment---I'm still happy about it and it happened 19 years ago.
Love you!
Buffy

Heidi A said...

Alisa,
You don't know me, either, but I was roommates with Kecia and Lexi at Ricks, many years ago:) so I feel like I know you somewhat. I found your blog through them and I just want to say, you're an inspiration. Thanks for the posts, I love them.

IAmTheWalrus said...

What a great idea (the book)! I keep thinking of things like that to do, but never actually get started. I am really impressed that you quoted Horace. I love the wisdom of the old Romans. It is amazing how much ancient civilizations knew about the human condition. Don't worry about the ramblings .... it's quite a feat to write coherently while taking interferon. I have heard it referred to as the "Brain Fog".

Be well,
Brent