I have only one thing on my grocery list right now: thank you cards. Everyone has been so kind, thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
I am feeling happy today just to be alive. As Josh sort of alluded to, I have a strange fear that I am going to stop breathing while on drugs. Maybe because I have seen people do it after surgery, I don't know. I just thought this was probably going to happen to me sometime yesterday. I didn't. But I'm still upset that I was the only one concerned about it. I had to keep checking my pulse, and counting my respirations every time I didn't notice my chest rise and fall. Josh just locked me in my room when I got home. He might as well have left me to die I thought. I didn't nap well or sleep well last night, I had to keep waking myself up to check my breathing pattern. It was awful. I asked Josh to do it for me, so whenever he would move I would quickly hold my breath thinking 'this will teach him not to check up on me' but he never did reach out for me or look at me all night.
We will let everyone know as soon as we find out about the results of the biopsy. I have to say I feel like the cancer is gone, but it could be the drugs talking.