Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Blog on Drugs

I have only one thing on my grocery list right now: thank you cards. Everyone has been so kind, thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

I am feeling happy today just to be alive. As Josh sort of alluded to, I have a strange fear that I am going to stop breathing while on drugs. Maybe because I have seen people do it after surgery, I don't know. I just thought this was probably going to happen to me sometime yesterday. I didn't. But I'm still upset that I was the only one concerned about it. I had to keep checking my pulse, and counting my respirations every time I didn't notice my chest rise and fall. Josh just locked me in my room when I got home. He might as well have left me to die I thought. I didn't nap well or sleep well last night, I had to keep waking myself up to check my breathing pattern. It was awful. I asked Josh to do it for me, so whenever he would move I would quickly hold my breath thinking 'this will teach him not to check up on me' but he never did reach out for me or look at me all night.

We will let everyone know as soon as we find out about the results of the biopsy. I have to say I feel like the cancer is gone, but it could be the drugs talking.

14 comments:

? said...
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jennie said...

Glad you are doing well, and I'm really glad you weren't apnic during the night!!! Can I come help you during the day since you can't bend your leg???

Doc said...

Alisa - hurray for breathing and hurray for ... drugs? I have to say that I think the cancer is gone too, and Brittany hopes that that is not the drugs talking. Can we come Friday night?

Cathy said...

Alisa,
Jill called. Since then I have been anxious for news. I'm glad things went well. You are in my thoughts and every prayer.
Cathy Hulet

Mary said...

What a relief to hear your sweet blogging voice. I'm glad you are keeping us up to date on the situation. Please teach James to keep track of your breathing since Josh is obviously incapable.

Shmeezka said...

I guess Im getting some mixed reactions on the blog on drugs. Mary and Jennie can see the truth, that Im not mad at Josh at all, Im just a little weird on drugs and cant think very rationally. Last night I was up all night making Josh search the house for a ring wrathes (I don't know how to spell this) and opened windows. There was talk of dragons and high schools. Lets just say Josh has banned the percocet and I'm going to have to make do with Ibprofen.

lou said...

That's funny Alisa. I wish that I had been there for that. Actually, I wish that I had been there for everything. Chile is harsh. =)

ronco said...

You should at least be able to read her mind when she's drugged, Joshua. Get with it.

Sonja said...

Alisa, you've been right about so many things--lets hope you are right about the cancer being gone.

jennie said...

Um... you didn't answer my question. Maybe next time you take percocet you can dream that a vampire is in your room. HOW EXCITING WOULD THAT BE!!!

Brooke said...

I was on percocet after Csection #2 - and I was whacky as well. We called and asked for motrin!

Jesse and Leah said...

Hey Alisa- I'm so glad that you're doing well! I agree that being a nurse makes you extra worried, because we do KNOW what could happen. If you need a sympathetic ear, give me a call!

Whatsatoomzaletson said...

You sound like me checking on my patients. I'm obsessed with making sure they are breathing and make rounds every half hour, I hope I grow out of it. Love you and love you on drugs.

alisa said...

Anne, you wont grow out of it. Wait till you have a baby, it gets worse.