Sunday, September 23, 2007

Year of a million dreams.

The Dr. called Friday night while we were on the road. He said the cancer in the first sentinel node was small, and then very small ones in the other two. He wanted to schedule a second surgery to get all the surrounding nodes out on Wednesday. Then we need to discuss what treatments we want to do after that. It sounded like the best bet was Interferon, an immunological drug. I have researched a little internet of this before and those who have done it say its awful. I have tried to stay away from the internet this trip. Looking at survival rates is pretty bleak.

We have had a few special moments in the Magical Kingdom. On the way out of the park last night an employee stopped us to answer some some questions about our experience. The last questions went something like this: "Do you plan on returning to Disneyland?" Josh and I looked at each other, tears welling up, "I don't know" we both said." "Thats okay, would you LIKE to return to Disneyland?" That did it, and I started bawling and explaining that I would LOVE to come back but I just found out that I might be dying of cancer. I don't think she had a box to check that off on her sheet. She was crying and we were hugging. It was quite the scene.

Im not really sure who my audience is anymore, I think my ward friends are tuning in now, but I want to thank everyone who's helped, all the emails (which I'm going to find time to respond to someday), the food and flowers and babysitting. I just feel like I'm doing as well as I am because of all of you. Thank you so much for your prayers. God might get sick of my request, so its probably good coming from you too.

28 comments:

Justin said...

You're in our prayers, Alisa, Josh, & family. Glad you're having a good trip.

jj said...

Josh and Alisa,
I don't know what to say. I heard from the relief society in our ward what was happening, but the information was so vague. Thanks so much Josh for sending the blog our way. I read all of the entries today, starting with July and cried the whole time. Alisa, just know that what you have written has made me want to be a better mom, wife and person. I am praying for you and your family as well as is Blake. If you need anything from us please let us know.

jennie said...

Don't worry, I have solicited prayers from my ginormous family too, thus the comment from Justin above. I'm glad you talked to the Dr, I'm sure it's nice to at least have a game plan. My friend across the street, who I've told you about, had 2 members of her family survive melanoma. She told me that her father-in-law had inerferon (sp) for his melanoma and he is alive and well.

I've been thinking about you all weekend. Pete's dad mentioned you by name in our prayer tonight for dinner. Everyone is praying for you. xoxo Oh, and did you get your churro?

koryandkatie said...

Alisa,
I just found your blog through Mark and Mary's. I am so sorry to hear what is going on. I will keep you in my prayers.

Katie (Golden) Lewis

ronco said...

Kay Griffiths sends her love and mentions that she's had melanoma twice. I did not know that. In fact, everyone in the home ward is so concerned for you--everyone asks your married last name so they can put your name in the temple. We're praying for you, too. We love you.

Tim and Amber Peterson said...

Alisa, Josh, and family,
We received an email from Josh yesterday apprising us of the recent events in your life. Thank you for the update. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Fugal Family said...

Alisa, Josh and boys -
Year of a million dreams and MIRACLES! I am so happy you are there, enjoying your family, experiencing the magic. You deserve to have the best Disney experience ever! The tears haven't stopped flowing yet. Your story of the staffer at Disneyland makes my heart ache. You have so many friends and family members who love and adore you. We will take this one day at a time, one experience at a time, one battle at a time, one victory at a time. Our prayers, thoughts, and love are with you. One more magical day at Disneyland - I admire your spontaneity. Disneyland makes even the hardest things a little easier to deal with. We love you all!

stigbuf said...

I wish there was some way for you to know how many people in this world have your name written in their hearts, spoken in their prayers, and changed in their attitudes by this experience. You will continue to feel the power that comes from so much caring, and we will all be blessed as we look at the miracle of life much differently. Looking forward to being there soon! I love you! Mom

suzanne campbell said...

Alisa my brother in law is a Dr. Back east he said the interferon isn't pleaseant but when it's over it's over what ever that means. and they have had sucess with it. You will know what to do. love Suzanne

Jesse and Leah said...

Hey Alisa,
I'm so glad that you are having such a wonderful time at Disneyland with your husband and boys! Please know that we are thinking about you constantly. Our hearts are filled with hope, concern and most importantly PRAYER! Please let us know if we can do anything!
Leah

Jill said...

Don't worry about answering all your emails. Just count them and realize you are loved more than you ever knew, and keep updating your blog as often as you do, and no one will complain one bit. My whole family is praying for you too, but we aren't as righteous as all the rest of your friends, so we have to do it doubly hard. Love you.

Bryanna said...

I don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said, but I'm always thinking about and praying for you and Josh and the boys. I love you guys!

Annie Lane said...

Bishop Jensen spoke yesterday about the power of prayer and fasting. Our ward fast begins Monday evening (invitation to all to join) and our family will be praying that you get to complete those 8 things on your list--and many more! We're praying for Josh and that those 3 sweet boys will have their mother at their weddings. We love you and need you here (my sister would still like to pick your brain about photography). We'll see you soon and enjoy the mgic!

Whatsatoomzaletson said...

Sweet Smeezka and Beloved Balega, I love you like crazy. You deserve every good thing in the whole world.

Laura L. said...

Alisa and fam,
Wow. I just found out, and I want to tell you how much I admire your grit. I read all of your entries-you have such a strong spirit-and can hardly believe this. Sometimes (often, actually) I forget how fragile and finite life is. Know that you and yours are now in my prayers. I think you're friggin' awesome, Alisa, and if anyone can beat this thing, it's you!

Doc said...

You are the best - I love you.

K&K said...

ALisa- I don't even know what to say-I just found this and I have cried all day and will continue to have you in my heart and prayers from now on! You have always been a role model to me. I have always looked up to you (not just because you are taller than me)!Kris and I send you and your family our love and our prayers!
love you-
kecia

Jamie said...

We want to start by telling you and your family we just love you guys, our thought and prayers are with you all. Please let us know if there is anything we can do.. We want love the opportunity to help in any way we can...

Love the Maxfields

lexi said...

Alisa,
Funny thing--you popped in my mind a couple weeks ago out of the blue and then I found a link to your blog on Mary's. I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. You are in my family's prayers and my thoughts. Your family is beautiful and I love your photography. I'm so glad I found your blog. I want you to know that your entries have inspired me to be a better mom and cherish my family the way you have. Thanks.
Love ya,
Lexi (from Ricks...Kecia's cousin)

alisa said...

You are all so sweet. First of all Lexi, thats one thing that has kind of freaked me out-these last few weeks Ive had people call me at random (like a middle school friend who I have always adored) called just thinking about me (we hadnt spoken for almost 2 years). I also didnt get braces this last year because I was like "Im going to see everyone I know in July" I had 2 big family reunions and my 10 year high school reunion. And now Ive found all the college chums. I love hearing from everyone.
Jennie, we got churros all right, but for the first time in my life I have no appetite. I just forced myself to eat a big mac because I havent had anything all day. And yet my pants are still too tight.
Love you all!

Sonja said...

Alisa, I love you and miss you. Andrew is watching Cars and I'm thinking of our road trip this summer. Good times I hope there are many more to come.

Kimi said...

My Dear Sweet Kindred Spirit,
I hope I can be so honored to call you that. I haven't heard from you for years. I hope you know that I love you and that there has always been a place in my heart for you. Jon sent everyone your blog and as I read my heart swelled and my eyes teared up. I just want you to know that my prayers will be filled full of thoughts of you and your sweet family. I will always cherish our days spent together, tennis in skirts, tea parties, poetry in the top of my barn and talks with you. I just want you to know that I love you.
Kimi

Karlet said...

Alisa, I want to start coming to your house like once a week or something and just help you out with anything you need me to do--cleaning, babysitting, cooking, working on your basement, etc. That is, unless I'd just be in the way. You should let me know when you would want me to come. You wouldn't even have to come pick me up at the bus stop--I'd love to walk! I love you!

Chilaxin' Chilean said...

I want to start coming over to your house once a week too. That is why I am super ticked that I am in Chile right now. I really miss you, Josh, and the boys. I love you.

Mike and Ang said...

Alisa, you are my hero. You are beautiful and strong and amazing. And you're the best V.T.er in the world! We are praying for you, your husband, and your beautiful boys.

Nate Dog said...

Alisa and Josh: Just know that most of the world is praying for you. My family has been fasting and praying along many others I have talked to.

Chapman Family said...

So, you are one of my favorite cousins-in-law (so the whole Washburn clan is quite amazing, really) and I've found we are also the most involved. It has been hard for me to be in each other's business, but I have learned that we all just want to feel each other's happiness. . . along with each other's pain. That is what is special about each of the Washburns (which I now include myself because each of you have made me feel so a part the family) is that if any of us could take any of the pain, suffering, or heartache away, we could. I REALLY wish I could. When one of us has an accomplishment, we all feel proud and accomplished. When one of us is sad, we are all sad. Though I can't take any of it away, nor feel exactly the way you do, I now know the meaning of "I feel for you" because I want to take it all away for you. I also wish I were there to make you some of your favorite Washburn desserts. . .

Chapman Family said...

So "Chapman Family" is written mainly by me, Monique, but Brandon can shoot in a cameo every once in a while. And hey, that "Staying Positive" prescription from the doctor really means a lot. REALLY. I know of someone who believes whole heartedly of that "treatment." You are amazing and keep the faith. Love from Maryland.