Its so great to hear from all of you. I mean it.
I am going to get my tests done on Tuesday, so there wont be any new news until after that.
My girlfriend Steph Fugal, who I could write a thank you BOOK to, brought up a good point. Was this because of too much sun?
The Dr. told Josh the DNA report showed there was no evidence of sun damage. I have had the blessing of never feeling guilty about the cancer. Afternoons spent cooking on the roof of our apartment in Mexico studying pediatrics did cross my mind. I never used sunblock simply because I didn't burn (and it was so easy to get a great tan). Of course I would take it all back, but it seems like it wouldn't have made a difference.
And then, should I feel guilty because I didn't get it removed earlier? I found a study that showed nodular melanoma (especially the color of mine-pinkish) is not thought to be melanoma even by Dr.s (as was the case with mine).
Im going to paste the abstract of the study. This is for my benefit (most of you wont want to read it), because I do feel a little silly being a nurse and all, and not getting it off faster.
BACKGROUND: Nodular histotype represents the condition that is mostly associated with diagnosis of thick melanoma. OBJECTIVE: The objectives were to evaluate variables associated with and pattern of detection of nodular melanomas and to investigate variables associated with early diagnosis in accordance with histotype (nodular vs. superficial spreading melanomas). METHODS: From the original data set of 816 melanomas, all the invasive lesions classified as superficial spreading (n=500) and nodular (n=93) melanomas were considered for the study. A multivariate logistic analysis was performed. Results. Nodular melanomas did not significantly differ from superficial spreading melanomas regarding sex, anatomic site, number of whole-body nevi, and the presence of atypical nevi. As expected, nodular melanomas were represented by a higher percentage of thick (>2 mm) lesions compared to superficial spreading melanomas (64.5% vs. 9.6%, p<0.001). style="font-weight: bold;">Female sex, high level of education, and detection made by a dermatologist had an independent, protective effect against late (>1 mm in thickness) diagnosis in superficial spreading melanomas. No protective variable associated with nodular melanomas was found. CONCLUSION: Patterns of detection for nodular melanomas significantly differ from those for superficial spreading melanomas. For superficial spreading, but not for nodular, melanomas, variables associated with protective effect against late diagnosis can be identified.
I remember after my horrible birth with Luke, telling my cousin Jill how I felt guilty I didn't love him to pieces right after and she said something like "there is no room for guilt in motherhood." I cant fit that emotion in now either. My heart is already full. Mostly of love....for you.
Here is how James ended up at the end of the Matterhorn-horizontal. He sports the only souvenir from Disneyland, (ironically) a watch.